Captaintictac!

With her voice she said:
I’d die for you anyday..
My life’s over anyway..
Lets go to the empty park
And talk till it’s really dark

whores:

whores:

Don’t cry because its over

cry because you’re ugly

cutesecrets:

MORE QUOTES HERE!

(Source: spacejamdvd)

asap-tran:

really-shit:

If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.

fuck

neofriend:

this is my son with the dog i just got him

(Source: eyeofwonder)

doglets:

sext: sorry just got this text haha. do u still have a boner?

nothingcanstopthejuggernaut:

When I haven’t masturbated in a week

(Source: guink)

freshtittymilk:

mamascream:

pertlattimers:

butterflies-and-teeth:

cis-hetscum:

toomuchawesomefor5ft3:

thesoundofkurt:

carlovely:

the dildomaker is a pencil sharpener-esque device that shaves an object into the shape of a dingaling.

I AM SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER.

I’d get this just so I could give people penis candles for their birthdays

I would turn everything in my house into a dildo.

I’m so upset right now

what happens if i put someones actual willy in it
will it turn it into the perfect willy specimen

I’m assuming you’d turn your steak into ground beef

IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES